Found this written on a scrap piece of paper in an old box of mine.
I know what gives satisfaction. I know what brings delight. I know the key to finding happiness. And still, I search. I search for love and acceptance and purpose in my circumstances and possessions thinking they will bring me joy. If I could buy that dress, if I only wore that size, if I could live in that place...that's where I would find true contentment. These lies are present everyday and unless they are suppressed my mind and heart believes them. This is when the gospel enters. The truths and facts of the gospel are all I need to live on. I want an earthly, temporal solution when what my heart yearns for is a spiritual, eternal solution that only God is able to provide. I have a "God sized" hole in my heart and only He is able to fill it. In my foolishness I believe that even though God's word has always been the answer before, I can find my own answers in myself and in the world. You realize just how discontent you are when what you always wanted isn't good enough anymore and even when your wishes are granted you have larger requests still yet.